4 months and holding

We are now at #14! There were two referrals about 4 weeks ago. Again, I am encouraged to see some movement, but I'd feel better if we were up to two a month - it could still happen! The thing that's the hardest to understand is that there are people I have met online that started the process at the same time that we did and they already have baby girls home with them!!!! So much of it has to do with the agency! I am not saying that we don't have a good agency, just one with a long waiting list! For the last few weeks, I was feeling pretty frustrated again. Then yesterday I had rather profound thought (to me anyway!). The boys have been a bit trying lately and sometimes I honestly wonder if I am crazy to have another child. I realized that God will not give me more than I can handle and that our little girl will come at the perfect time for our family and that maybe now would not have been the perfect time and that is why He led us to this particular agency. It brought me some comfort to look at it that way.

The other day David and Steven made cookies over at Grammy's house. They had set aside some for Aunt Susan and Uncle Troy and David's teachers. David said, "I think we should save one for our little sister"! It made me proud and sad all at the same time! Then David added,"It is going to be a long time until she comes here and the cookie might get really old". So I suggested that we bake some fresh cookies when we know she is coming home! David also said something about saving a cookie for her "real" mother! That was very interesting to me. I have become quite aware of how sensitive adoptive parents are to that saying and others like "your own child". I told him that I would be her "real" mom, because your "real" mom is the one that raises you. He said, "No, I mean the one that will carry her in her tummy". Remind me again, is my son 4 or 10???? He understands so much!

That's all for today! Thanks again for listening!